


Waiting

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: The Grove [14]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He might say the wrong thing, trip, stumble, or even fall on his face but he had to take that risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> The story deals with something many teens face today and some of it may be tough to swallow. I just wrote it as honestly as I could while these characters spoke to me.

Hotch walked up the front steps, closing his umbrella as he stood on the front porch. He rang the doorbell, surprised when the door opened immediately. Emily opened the security screen.

“Hey baby. I…”

“Come in.” Emily pulled him in.

“What's the matter? Are you alright?”

“My parents are away until late tonight so I thought now would be the best time.”

“The best time?”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. He didn’t mind being accosted for sex; not at all. Even though he was supposed to be studying for his physics test there were things he was willing to overlook for naked time with Emily.

“Come upstairs.”

“OK,” He grinned as she held his hand and led him into her bedroom. Emily closed the door.

“Aaron, I'm late.”

“Huh?”

“I'm late.” She repeated.

“I don’t know what that means.” A look of confusion crossed over his handsome young face.

Emily sat down on the bed, sliding her hand under the pillow and coming back with the pregnancy test.

“I'm late.”

“Oh. Oh my God.” He sat down beside her but looked at his shoes. “Are you sure, Em?”

“No, I'm not. That’s why…”

Emily choked up, closing her eyes and biting her lip. Hotch finally looked at her, taking her hands.

“It’s going to be alright.”

“I'm scared.”

“Me too, baby, but I need you to take a couple of deep breaths. We’ll start with that.”

She nodded, taking the breaths as Hotch did the same. Emily squeezed his hands before her forehead rested on his shoulder. Hotch turned and kissed her temple.

“I'm going to take the test.” She whispered.

“What does the box say?”

Emily took another deep breath and was finally able to look into his eyes.

“I have to pee on the stick. Then we wait 15 minutes for the result.”

“Jesus, they may as well ask us to wait an hour. How will you know…?”

“One blue line means positive; two lines means negative. I um…I drank a big glass of water before you got here so I better go.”

“I love you.” Hotch kissed her lips softly.

“I love you too. I’ll be right back.”

Emily got up, going into her bathroom and closing the door. Hotch got up from the bed, his feet beating across the plush maroon carpet. His mind was racing as his Adidas paced back and forth. He and Emily were always careful; never once did they slip up. Hotch always wore a condom and she was on the pill.

They surely didn’t have sex as much as their friends believed. Second base was one of Hotch’s favorite places. Third base was awesome too. Sliding home was still a total treat that he got for being a good boy. He never pressured Emily and they spent much of their time building the foundation for a relationship they hoped lasted the rest of their lives.

“Its done.” Emily came out of the bathroom.

“It’s been 15 minutes already?”

“No, I just meant I peed on the stick. I set the egg timer to let us know.”

“Oh, OK, that’s good.”

Emily nodded, sitting on her bed. She watched Hotch pace back and forth. While she didn’t know what exactly was on his mind, she knew he was having deep thoughts.

“We should probably talk about this…we have a little time. What are we going to do if I'm pregnant, Aaron?”

“What do you mean? We’re going to get married, raise our child, and do what we have to.”

“We can't raise a baby and go to Yale.” Emily reasoned.

“Yes we can.”

“I need you to be realistic for a moment.”

“I am being realistic.” Hotch’s tone took on a defensive edge. “Emily, we have money, resources, and family that would support us. We can do it.”

“We need more than that. If you, as a teen father, go to Yale, then law school and the FBI Academy, you're doing everything you can for your family. If I follow the same path, I'm a neglectful mother. Children require a lot of time and attention. We’re only 18 years old.”

“Maybe we won't be able to go to Yale but we can do what we have to. There are plenty of good colleges in this area. We could go to Georgetown, American, University of Virginia…we can do this, Em.”

“There is another option.” Emily spoke quietly. She watched Hotch’s face darken; his hazel eyes turn dark brown.

“Absolutely not,” He shook his head. “No way in hell.”

“Hotch…”

“You would kill our baby? You would really do that?”

“Don’t say it that way. Don’t be so flippant about it as if it’s the world’s easiest decision. I know I'm not ready to be a mother…I haven’t even had time to be a teenager.”

“You're not alone; I'm gonna help.”

“I know, but,” Emily caressed his face. “This will fall on me. I carry the child, I give birth to the child, and I will be the majority of the emotional support. I'm not ready. I wish I were but I'm not.”

“So you would murder…?”

“Dammit Aaron! It’s an agonizing decision and I don’t think I will ever like it. I love you, and I love any life we create but I think it would be for the best if…”

“I will never forgive you if you do that.” Hotch said. “Emily, I couldn't love someone who would be so callous. I just couldn’t.”

Emily didn’t know how she held back her gasp. Her hands dropped from his face, falling limply at her sides. Tears filled her eyes, burning like hot pokers but she willed them not to fall. The look on his face was serious; he meant what he said. The child might not exist and it was already tearing them apart. Emily stepped away from him, a wide ocean growing between them. The egg timer went off and Hotch jumped when he heard it. Turning away, she went into the bathroom.

The whole world stopped turning for Hotch. All he could hear was the loud white noise between his ears. He tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t. The look on Emily’s face, the heartbreak…he’d caused that. Again.

But what was she thinking? They needed to discuss it further, calmly and rationally, but that might not be easy. He wished Jason were there. Whenever he didn’t know what to do, Jason stepped up and helped him fix things. Hotch needed this to be fixed.

He turned around when Emily came out of the bathroom. She pushed the stick at his shirt, her eyes dark steel.

“It’s negative, so the conversation is moot.”

“I don’t think the conversation is moot. I think I…I need to figure out what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, Aaron, just go home.”

“I really would like to talk.” He replied.

“I think you said everything you needed to. I got the message loud and clear.”

“Emily…” Hotch sighed.

“Please leave.” She said.

“We need to talk. We need to do that before the void grows too large and can't be filled. I'm not sure it'll be easy but I know it has to be done. Please, baby.”

“Fine, talk,” Emily crossed her arms. “If you want to talk so bad, have at it.”

“You have to listen. There is no point if you don’t.”

“I don’t have to look at you to listen. Just say what's on your mind, Aaron.”

Hotch took a deep breath and blew it out. It was now or never. He might say the wrong thing, trip, stumble, or even fall on his face but he had to take that risk. If he ever lost Emily it wasn’t going to be because he didn’t open his mouth and say what had to be said.

“Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, Emily. I said it but I didn’t mean it. That probably means I shouldn’t have said it but people are impulsive when they're upset.” Hotch gulped down another breath. “I think every woman is entitled to a choice but I thought my woman, well you're not my woman like I own you but…I'm losing focus. What I mean to say is I understand your fear. I know that people would be looking to you to make sure our child isn’t a serial killer; you would bear the brunt. But I would help.”

“It’s not about that, Hotch.”

“Tell me what it’s about.”

She looked at him. His face was more open; his stance less defensive. If he wanted to talk then she could do that. She might throw him out afterward but they could both have their say.

“I'm 18 years old. For the first time in my life I've been able to do things for me and make my own decisions. I need to live my life to the fullest right now. God, I must sound so selfish but I have dreams, Hotch. I want to graduate from college, get a Masters Degree, travel, learn, love…I want to live. If I was 25 and had some of those experiences under my belt, faced with the same decision it wouldn’t even be a question. You have to know that.”

“What wouldn’t be a question?” Hotch asked.

“I would have our baby. We would raise our child together. Right now though, as teenagers, it’s not the best decision. We could try it together but people would look and whisper about me if something goes wrong. Do you understand the strain it would have on our relationship? I'm not 25, I'm not even 20; I'm not ready.”

“I'm probably not ready either but I'm willing to try. I love you, I just want to be together and work toward the same goals.”

“Hotch, you had all kinds of issues with your father, and your mother as well. My mother and I struggle all the time. The two of us don’t have the most shining examples. We need to live as grownups, have experiences, breathe, and make mistakes. Then we’ll be ready. Neither of us is there right now. We can try, and try hard; I know you would give 150%. But there are other choices right now, even really hard ones.”

“I hate the other choice.” Hotch muttered.

“I can't do anything about that. It’s not my favorite either. My God,” She ran her fingers through her hair. “When did it get so complicated? We were sailing along, young and in love, but then…”

“Sex complicates even the best situation.”

“You think we’re a complication?” Emily asked.

“Not us Emily, sex. If we weren't having it then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“We’re doing adult things.” she walked toward him. “That leads to adult situations and adult decisions.”

“We’re in this together though, right?” He asked.

“Always,” Emily hugged him. “Always. I love you with all my heart.”

“Me too. You and me, baby,”

“For always,”

Hotch tilted her chin, drawing her mouth to his. His kiss was soft, sweet, and tentative. Emily’s response was slow and passionate. Then he held her tight to him.

“Promise me that we’ll always talk it through, Hotch. It won't always be easy but if we don’t…I don’t want to end up like everyone else. If I don’t want to listen because I'm mad, make me listen.”

“I will, and we won't; I promise.” Hotch cupped her face. “Promise me when I'm being inflexible that you’ll remind me that life isn’t perfect and sometimes we have to make hard decisions.”

“Only if you promise that you'll do your best not to be so inflexible.” Emily replied. “While the subjects may change I think we have a lifetime of intense conversations to come.”

“Be less inflexible,” Hotch whispered. “I think I can do that. I know I can try to do that. I'm sorry, Emily.”

“For speaking your mind? I don’t think you should apologize for that, whether I liked what you said or not.”

“Then I apologize for hurting your feelings.” He kissed her forehead while holding her. “I never meant to do that.”

“Apology accepted. I think I need to lie down; I'm exhausted.”

“You should call your doctor too. If something’s wrong and um…stuff isn’t happening, they should know.”

“I’ll call on Monday.” Emily replied. “Right now, I just want to sleep.”

She walked over to her bed and Hotch just looked at her.

“Should I leave?” He asked.

“No, I want you to stay. I need you to hold me, Hotch.”

“Of course,”

He kicked off his sneakers and climbed onto the bed, holding Emily as he had so many times before. Her back rested against his chest in the spoon position. Hotch wrapped his arms around her; she held onto his arms. He felt her body tremble and knew she was crying. A part of him was upset that Emily would do it in secret, didn’t actively seek his comfort. Hotch knew he would never truly understand the thoughts and fears in her mind. He didn’t have to like it but he knew.

“I'm never letting you go.” He whispered. “I'm holding on for dear life.”

Emily silently cried, turned in his arms and fell asleep. Hotch held on, watching the afternoon turn to evening. He dozed a bit as well, lulled by the rain, but mostly held on and watched over her. The sun, which didn’t even come out today, was setting on their childhoods.

***

  



End file.
